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Sunday, May 28, 2006

:(

Han just left me 7 mins ago, and mixes of emotions are coming back to me now again. Life goes back to how it was and how it was meant to be. The coming we both look forward to so much and the partings that bring me so much pain. Through this whole trip, there were little squabbles, and each of us driving each other crazy, but despite all, han, you still mean the most to me. I'd rather have you drive me crazy then not have you at all. Your my everything. I know this was to be expected, but when it came, I just couldn't take it, I'm so sorry for saying the things I did and not understanding it. I know what you want of me and I know that by doing the things I did, I made it harder on you. I'm sorry, so very sorry, cause I know if I really loved you that was what I should have done.

My birthday was what I thought I would look forward to and spend it with the one I love the most. But I guess I was wrong, I looked forward to your coming more than my birthday, somehow, it meant nothing and all that matters was you. I know in our relationship, we seem to part all the time, and I know that I should be used to it considering there have already been 5 partings in it. But somehow, the same thing happens the whole time, I don't want to go all K-drama as your friends' say, but parting with you is always the hardiest thing for me. I'm not like that at all and you know that, its not me, I'm everything everyone expects me to be, and I like that protrayal. I don't cry, I'm strong, I'm opinionated, I get over things quickly, and I have an attention span of as han says "a monkey", etc. But yet, when it comes to you, everything seems the opposite, I've come to be a person I don't know, I don't like, because I'm so vulnerable. I love you.

I don't really know how things will go in the future, and I believe there will be many many many obstacles infront of us. But somehow or rather, I know that I can work it out with you. Although, I can be a nag and it may take many times before you get the point, you still manage to get it and change. There are things where need changing be it you or me, but thank you so much for putting up with me han. I know I can be quite hard to get through too, but I do listen and understand what your saying.

Well, I'll be hanging out with the gals today and play some cards like we did last night, cause i think it will be better for me, or I'll drive myself crazy soon:) ANLG so very much:) SQuiankey / Squicoon!!

On a lighter note, han and I did a quiz to see how old we were, and surprisingly, he was 20!! That was amazing to me, cause i thought he would be 16 -18 hahaha:) But I was 22, so that made him really happy hahaha:) I guess i'm the pedo now hahaha.

So many things happended in this trip, and I have to say that I loved every moment of it even though as you said I acted more as a "guy" than you did. Thinking back, it was much sweeter than when I was experiencing it hahaha. Yes, I'm unromantic and guyish, I know han:p But I still love you as much or more than when we first got together. I guess on some level mentally, we progressed much more than we have since last year. This is by far the best birthday ever!! Though I still feel that my birthday just passed without me knowing:) The happiest thing on earth is spending your birthday with someone you really love and truly care about and thanks to han, I've learnt understand that now:)

Han, I'm guessing you should be boarding the plane now, but it seems like you've been gone for such a long time. The fact that you came, seemed like it was my dream, was it? I miss you han, so very much. Your right, I got to take my mind off these things and distract myself with something, but somehow its so hard han so very hard. I miss you so very much XZZ. I <3>

Guess I'd better stop here now. I love you XZ.

Add colours to your life!!
5/28/2006 04:12:00 AM


Sunday, May 14, 2006

Do i really need a title?:)

Have been really busy lately that's why i haven't been bloggin much for you my squiankey,sorry:) I don't really have much to address but i do have to say that although han has his wrongs,his by far the sweetest and most loveliest guy,for the fact that he listens to what i have to say,and understands it. Furthermore,if he does something wrong,and i tell him how it makes me feel,he would think about it and apologize (not in the way where he just apologizes but he truly understands and improves). This is something I've never ever seen in a guy:) Thank you for every thing XZZ:)

I know we're going through a little bump in our relationship now,but I love the fact that we can always work things out. Also,knowing how much you wanna be there for me means the world to me. I know there're alot of things going on for you and it maybe overwhelming for you,but i just want you to know that i'll always be there,and do tell me everything,especially what your feeling. Don't just keep it to yourself and end up getting frustrated over everything, we can work things through han,we can, you know that no matter what happens i'll be there for you,i love you.

I understand that sometimes it maybe hard for you to sleep early at night, cause your friends will wanna come over and chat to you,but do try to turn in early k??coz i know your normally really tired,silly baby:)

I recently went to a philo lecture, its on political philosphy,which was a rather interesting talk for me,because the proff touched on the topic on what a just world to be like,or how we could achieve. And this is what he proposed:
1) All countries/societies should have their own representative, which would be chosen when one would like to be it, but this is the catch, the country/society that they would be representing would not be disclosed to them until they are chosen.
2) It is not right for wealthier countries to just give money to the third world countries, in fact, they should reform their political and social society.
3) Corruption, unlike what we usually think is to gain power, is actually caused by the poverty of the country.

Guess,i'll stop here for now,cause i'm getting a little lazy to type:)sorry:)But If any would like to know more,just leave a tag on han's tagboard and i'll try to write out what the entire lecture is about cause i don't wanna bore everyone with it:)

On a lighter note,why is everyone callin their gals or their boys baby??*sigh* its getting so typical like honey, etc. *sigh* O well..Anyways,i'm off now,hope everyone is having a great year or month!!

Add colours to your life!!
5/14/2006 04:42:00 PM

Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman

To really love a woman,To understand her,
You've got to know her deep inside
Hear every thought,See every dream,
And give her wings when she wants to fly

Then when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms,
You know you really love a woman
When you love a woman,You tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman,You tell her that she's the one
She needs somebody, to tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
...really, really ever loved a woman

To really love a woman,Let her hold you,
Till you know how she needs to be touched
You've got to breathe her, really taste her
Till you can feel her in your blood
And when you see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman
You've got to give her some faith,Hold her tight, a little tenderness
You've got to treat her right
She will be there for you taking good care of you
You really gotta love your woman
And when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms,
You know you really love a woman
When you love a woman,You tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman,You tell her that she's the one
She needs somebody, to tell her that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really
...really, really ever loved a woman

When you love a woman,You tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman,You tell her that she's the one
She needs somebody, to tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
...really, really ever loved a woman

I have And tats u my angel !!!


Add colours to your life!!
5/14/2006 01:17:00 AM