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Wednesday, March 22, 2006

MY ANGEL IN THE SEAttle: I Love With U http://www.deviantart.com/view/9836777/

Basically.. I nvr felt like i dun need you or ever not want you, on the contary i do very much. The words i speak are sure as fire that i tan zhi han never once stop loving you.. The thought of your voice and the look on your face have got me goin for so long and would u think that it will stop.? stop it shall not for even when i was in america i wanted you every singel day.. And when i got back needed you every singel moment..And in my life i was destined to have you in every beat of my heart..I love you i do and do to you..for i haven once though other wise.. All i wanted was to love you to hold you to need you to want you.. to grow old with you to drink a cup of coffee in the cold winter with you.. to hold your hands when your in the hospital and to accept the need for laskas from penang in 2am in the morning.. to hear your ren xing and to take your silliness.. to hold and to have to love and behold better or worst and to be foreve bounded.. I would never think once that i could be with out u and i dun wan to lose this battle.. the battle you wan to pull away but i wan to be towards.. i far nothing in this life except for losing you and if i am not consumed by the forces of fear which will power my will, i will nvr have or deserve you.. I learn that no matter how far i m you always lingle in my breathe my mind my heart.. from the taste of my soul i have been nothing but u. and you of me.. And losing myself is not something i will have.. I may be selfish but i am damn proud to be .. i wan you to my self and i will..

I am sorry and i am wrong.. but i will nvr go down with out a fight..a fight for you..for i will fight all the demons that plague our relationship and i want them all out.. i dont wan to play this games of ice and misses i have had to much with out my baby gal..any more would be to much.. baby honestly how can i not love you.. You are like my baby girl my soul pillar my heart contend-tor my physical fluffy bear.. baby i can not help but love you and you know.. I look at your words with only heart and make your words gold.. have i taken you for granted yes i have and i been doin nothing but back tracking nothing but thinking how to be wit you or even making it wit you..though i might be busy i work hard to be with you and i know its not enough but i am willing to make it work.. if i have to love you 74 hrs a day i will and how that comes i dun care i can cause i am your han.. i came far and all i ahve ever done is love you my way .. and so,etimes it may not be right but i think you might be tired of chance giving but i am not tired of following through wat i say.. from my emotional talk s to my mind less babble.. all is for you .. and i may be preaching some times but you are just so hypnotic with my heart.

I am not sweet any more for i am not.. only my lies are.. and ever word i say to you are through and i guess all the truth is not as sweet.. i guess i will nvr be the one you want..but all i really wan is you.. i can not let the only person i share the world go.. you may never see the moon burst or see the sun dim or even a memory but if i had a hand a piece of cut board and two strings i will make it happen.. baby i am silly and lame in front of you and yet so different to others , why?? why are you the only one.. why are you the only one i let guide me.. the only one i depend on .. its cause you are special..special than any one else.. special to me.. i know i'll nvr find one that will appreciate me and make me feel this way.. i dun wan to go on another day with out you and thats way i am telling you wats on my heart..filled with bad english and in audilble words.. i just want to be with you i wan you to be the one i be with my whole life..so i dun worry bout the ppl that bring us down along our way.. your mum for example..i m not scared of her as i know we are stronger than that and when it comes to push maybe thats how i truly know i learn to appreciate you all over again but i always pull through.. i will be your marty as long as you can survive.. i will be your han ..my silly girl

Your mum may be there and you think its hard you think its impossible.. but i say as long as keep trying i will know i will hear your voice from time to time.. i feel the xing xuan and i know u nvr felt it but thats how i know i need you so.. when my heart hurts i feel it.. i feel i it deep inside and i am like a flower wither and dying..hoping of my sun.. hoping for the one that is the best..hoping for you.. hoping you will be next to me when i wake up.. hoping i will not lose you but worrying i have..maybe in the end the only thing of beauty i can have is temperary and all i can hold are the few droplets of rain that is your life with my hand.. but some how i try and i try.. some how i feel your more than just a being or soemthing your everyhting transcending every thing in my life and all my pain are just a passing.. baby u are my nirvana to the divine light.. i dont know why i feel so much junk coming out of me and i dun know why you mean so much to.. why i know that in my life if i lose you i would have lost everything.. its like one day i woke up knowing my purpose in life is to take care of you.. to make sure your life is full of smiles and your house full of lv s.. i dun wan other happiness i dun wan anything else.. i wan you and i wan to appreciate you.. make my cakes and see you smile.. carry you all around and fall so u will not hurt or jus to make you smile.. i havent understood life till i met you and that is to have some one to love.. al the movies of ppl protecting their love one or putting them so strongly in their mind i finally realize.. your beautiful and in my heart your the beauty that kills the beast.. you are soul to the stars that will light my life, your the heart i have that beats.. your the reason tat i see.. your the reason i am me.. and i love you..

Why would i take your words and jump even when i m afraid of heights..why would i let you win every time and yet smile and let you say i m crazy.. its cuz given love you would do the same.. like the times you took my smell in your room to my singing..I know you think wat your mum say is impt but i worry it is nothing but words but i know that it is impt.. and i know that its impt to your mom..impt to u and impt to me.. and i wan it for my self i wan you for my self.. i wan all and i wan your mum to be my mum in law.. i wan to have a baby girl with you and spoil her and spoil her( but less than you off course).. your my lao puo and the ring i gave you means that to me.. your the only girl that has an ring from me and the only one that has me goin down on one knee.. why would i wan to be you cuz your nothign but wonderful.. you have grown so much since i know you .. from your friendliness to the cariness of a little girl.. to the way you win your parents over.. some how i have lag behind you but i knowthough i might not be that good any more.. i will one day come back.. i fear not the present nor the future but wat i will do.. and wat i will do is bring my self up .. my self up so i can have you.. its fact...

baby all in all from the hardness of my soul to the warm heart u created i m all you.. all yours wanting you and needing you ..hoping you would read all i write and all i know and that is one day your my mrs tan.. and one day our son or daughter will be called alexander/maire.. and that my credit card will have a supplementary card with your name on it that you will burn..all in all i know one thing you are to me.. from being my bed's mistress to my heart's priestess.. is that you are my angel..

P.s This is A random babbling of my heart and i love u so much baby girl i cant be with out u my silly girl
baby i nvr said anything to seem far or distant.. or is it the words i never said. For i believe ever sound i whisper is nothing but good tidings..I never thought you were any lesser or put blame on u when ever there is misdemeanors . All i been is but the provider..prudently providing a perchant of peace and place. I nvr knew some where i lost u. I nvr knew you mean so little to me till u spoke such words for i nvr knew i value something so great so little.. I nvr knew cuz i never felt that way but when its present i suppose you hold it that way. I may not think so but i will learn, learn from a mistake i will not make or have actually mistaken..

Add colours to your life!!
3/22/2006 12:41:00 AM